"I am 34 and I still live at home with my parents." - On Living at Home
So, what is it like to be 34 and still living at home? In short, it is both good and bad. On the one hand, I am definitely building a nice pool of money for a future down payment on a house. On the other hand, I do not really get to fully enjoy the life of a typical bachelor. I do believe that we are here to experience life, not to save another dollar.
Actually, it is my parents who encouraged each of us siblings to live at home until we had saved enough money to buy a house. They have a very big "save money mentality". They figured why throw money away on rent. They are not pushy to get me to move out of the house because they understand the situation that I am in. It is not like I am spending the extra disposable income on a fancy car or a trip around the world. Having said that, I have made a conscious decision to move out of the house within five years. I need to move on to the next stage of life whether it would be living in the Bay Area or some other part of the country.
Well, I don't think I need to elaborate about the benefits of a bachelor with his own bachelor pad. ;-) My youngest brother felt that living at home would impede on his bachelor life. He also did not like the daily one-hour commute.
This would turn out to cost him, financially-speaking. It took him some four years before he finally was able to buy a house. My father and aunt gifted him half of the down payment. Finally, he has to rent out one of the rooms to help cover the mortgage. Now, giving all of that, he has no regret on his decision to live in a rented apartment for the previous four years.
One thing that I have learned about personal finance is that it is about making trading-offs. Whereas my younger brother felt otherwise, I felt that the price was too high to live in a rented apartment to enjoy all of the bachelor life that comes with it until I could afford to buy a house.
To answer a reader's comment, I (along with my siblings) do have a good relationship with my parents. From a certain point-of-view, I am in a transitional state. I am like someone who just got out of college and plans to live at home for a few years until I can afford my own place. Although in my case, it has been an extended period of time.
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By the time I was 34 I had been out of my parents house for 16 years, married for 4 and my wife and I had just bought our first house, a little fixer upper. With no $help from our parents. We WERE 34 after all.
Prospect reminds me of this guy I knew in London. He was about 25, as were me and my buddies. He had this great flat that was about 99% finished. It had new furniture, new fixtures, paint job, carpeting etc. I think it might have been missing a light bulb or something. Anyway, this guy wouldn't move in! He kept living with his parents in their tiny flat for another couple of years.
We were just hitchhiking around the UK and crashed there for awhile. He was a cousin of my traveling companion. We treated his place with respect, but couldn't believe he was living with his parents when he had this great pad. Takes all kinds I suppose.
Move out prospect. If it means living in a trailer in the central valley. Grab that brass ring. Be in charge of your own destiny. Life is too short.
WOW... you set modest goals! :) Move out of home before you are 39! I moved out of home when I was 19! Why wait 5 years..?
I find it more than a bit odd that one has to live at home at the tender age of 34 in order to be able to save money. All kinds of people are supporting not only themselves, but an entire family at a much earlier age. And saving money at the same time. Saving up for a house sounds like a pretty lame excuse for *never* leaving the nest. You've been out of high school for 16 years, and you've most likely been out of college (assuming you went) for close to 12 years. And now you've made a conscious decision that you'll be out by the time you're 39? That's absolutely unbelievable! What are you saving up for, a castle? I'm sorry for being so harsh, but this almost reads like a joke.
Holy Crap! Maybe living in the Midwest (St. Louis) isn't so bad after all. I just bought my first home...1300 sq. feet, 3-bedroom, 2-full bath, newly finished full basement, 2-car garage, fenced yard, 10-years-old, for $169,900.
Prospect - I feel bad for you that you are planning to live at home until you're 39. But if that's how you have to do it to survive in the Bay Area, and you're okay with it, and you're saving money, don't let anyone get you down. Best of luck to you!
Thanks for all of your comments. Keep them coming!
OK, kids, let me tell you a story about a guy I know. Elliot moved back in with his parents when he was 27 years old and stayed there until about 34 years old. Now he is 37, and on at least four internet dating sites begging to find a partner in life.
Why, you ask?
Because during those best years to meet a marriage minded chick (26-31 for guys), he was living with his mother and father, a real turn off for women. So, he wasn’t getting very far with any quality, marriage minded women.
So, he screwed himself out of a lot of sex and good times because he was saving money and being lazy. Now, at 37, he should have a wife and a kid or two, and be staying home on Saturday nights with his wife and a Netflix movie. Instead, he spends his time perusing Jdate, Match.com, and the others, emailing slews of women hoping for first dates, and praying for his single days to end.
Now, about his internet dating; since he is 37, he can’t afford a long courtship, so, first impressions really matter. Therefore, he can't get away with coffee and movie for these early 30’s, husband comparison shopping, internet dating divas; NO, it is a full dinner with wine at $120.00 a clip in order to sell himself, and get a second date. Also, because of his age, divorced women with kids are now a factor in his dating. Ever date a woman with a five or seven year old kid? Not fun or relaxing at all. He is paying the price now, because he screwed himself in his late 20’s and early 30’s by living under Mommy and Daddy's roof.
